my love for you was bulletproof
by Forever in Your Heart
Summary: As Lao Tzu said, ""Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lily-centric


For Lily Evans, love is many things.

 _It's the hope that pulls her up after Tuney rejects her, pushes her away._

(Because her parents love her and she has Sev and it doesn't matter what Tuney says because Lily loves her, always has, always will and it'll all work out, Lily _knows_ it)

 _It's the strength that keeps her standing when the world turns against her._

(Because she's a mudblood and she's dirty and unworthy and she hears all the whispers, all the taunts, knows that outside Hogwarts' walls there are people who want to pull her apart because of the blood in her veins but Lily stands tall.

Because Professor Slughorn thinks she's brilliant, Professor Flitwick's over the moon with her charms work and Professor McGonagall nods in approval with every right answer Lily gives in class.

She loves these teachers, loves them for not caring about blood purity, for valuing her skills instead of the circumstances of her birth. She is strong because she is confident that blood has nothing to do with magic and ability and it's her teachers that help to show her that and she loves them all the more for it.

Sev is still her friend, he doesn't think she's dirty or unworthy (and maybe one day he will, but Lily doesn't bend easy, she's strong enough to stand even without him) and neither do Vivianne and Sienna and Mary and Lisa and all the other girls she can count as friends.

They love her, just as she is and she barely hears cruel words shouted in narrow hallways, because Lily has their love like a shield against the hate.

And it doesn't matter that she's a mudblood because she's Head Girl, Dumbledore trusts her _that_ much and her parents are so, _so_ proud.

Lily has proven to herself, over and over that blood doesn't matter and she loves Dumbledore for acknowledging her hard work and dedication and her parents have always kept her strong, their love like a blanket to fight the cold.

And James, _her_ James, loves her, loves her more than she thought anyone could and Lily can fight back against a world that wants to knock her down, because she isn't alone.

Lily loves them all, and she's strong because of it and because of them.

They hold her up, their love like the pillars beneath her roof)

 _It's the kindness that keeps her head held high when her very first friend (her best friend) humiliates her, hurts her in front of everyone._

(Because James Potter leaps to her defence, and he's stupid and an ass, but still, he comes up to her after everything and apologizes, says he's sorry for the part he'd played, and she thinks maybe, just maybe, he's not awful.

And when he tells her that Sev was wrong, because as her best friend, he should never _ever_ have said that, because _best friend_ is something special, something meaningful and Lily deserves better, _so much better_. She deserves a best friend that stands by her and respects her and Lily is left speechless but James Potter has always been loyal, always been the very best type of friend.

James doesn't love her and she doesn't love him but he loves his friends with a fierceness that inspires her, makes her feel like the sun is rising. His kindness to a girl who doesn't like him, his steadfast belief in friendship and his undying loyalty to his ragtag bunch of loonies gives her strength she never expected.

And then there's Vivianne with rude words against Sev, because he's stupid, because you're the best friend ever, doesn't know how lucky he is and there's Sienna with sweet comfort and gentle hugs and there's Mary with understanding and reassurance and Lisa with smiles and chocolate cookies.

Her friends, her _real_ friends love her and their kindness is all the strength she'll ever need.

And her parents write, just as always and they don't know what happened, but their love is clear in every word on paper and Lily doesn't need friendships that hurt, because she has so many _better_ things.

Lily loves as she always has, loves with fire and warmth and when Sev breaks her heart, she doesn't break with it, because she has more than enough love to keep her together)

 _It's the resolve that keeps her firm in her rejection of him because he's made his choice and it isn't her, no matter what he says._

(They've been friends so long, and it would be so easy to forgive him, because she doesn't want to let go of childhood and secrets and firsts but, _but_ , Lily Evans won't be pushed around, won't be treated like dirt, especially not by Sev and she loves herself enough to say no when he begs.

Lily is not a little girl anymore, not a stranger to the world and needing someone to teach her to swim. Lily looks at the boy she once thought of as her very _very_ best friend and realizes that he's never loved her as much as she's loved him and so she lets go.

Severus Snape doesn't love her, he's proven that, but Lily _does_ , Lily loves herself even if he won't so she does what she has to, because she doesn't need him, not anymore)

 _It's the courage that helps her hold her ground when Death Eaters and Dark Lords come to call._

(They want to kill her, every single day and she goes out and fights but she loves the world, loves the people in it and she won't let them suffer, she won't.

And she has an Order full of friends and she's got Remus, Sirius and Peter and she'll never let anything happen to them, so she is brave for them and they give her courage, because they love her back just as much.

And of course, _of course_ , there's James and she loves him with everything she is and that makes her tall and unafraid, makes her ready to take on the world.

And if the world starts to weigh her down, he's there with his own love that burns brighter than all the stars in the sky, and he smoothes her cracks, fortifies walls that start to shiver.

Lily reads somewhere that you need more than just love to survive, but Lily knows that isn't true, because Lily's love burns bright enough to keep her alive through everything and anything)

 _It's the faith that keeps her steady when her baby, her beautiful perfect baby is threatened._

(She has never been so terrified, never in all her life but she won't bow under it, won't bend and snap because he's her baby and Lily will keep him safe through anything.

She and James keep each other strong and she has friends to lean on, but most importantly, she has herself, and if there's one thing she has utter, complete faith in, it's that she won't let anyone hurt Harry.

And that's a promise)

 _It's the selflessness that throws her in front of him when evil comes to claim him, the sacrifice that offers her life in exchange for his because no one, no one, hurts her Harry._

 _No one._

(Lily dies with love in her blood and strength in her bones and they keep Harry alive, keep him safe years after she's gone.

Because for Lily Potter, love has always been

hope

strength

kindness

resolve

courage

faith

selflessness

sacrifice

and she gives it all to Harry, because she has never loved anyone as much as she loves him, her baby, her sun,

 _her Harry_ )


End file.
